Your wedding day is one of the most meaningful days in your life. For many people, it’s also one of the most expensive, which is why saving money by getting your friends to pitch in their talents is an appealing option. That’s what K did when she asked a friend of over 20 years to capture all the moments from her big day. He is a professional photographer, so they agreed she would fly him to her wedding and put him up for the weekend in exchange for professionally shot and edited photos. Nearly a year after her wedding, she had still not received them.
According to K, “I had been gently nudging him through texts and emails for several months only to be met with false promises and no photos. I offered to compensate him for them even though that wasn’t our initial agreement. My frustration mounted so I turned to Strongly Worded Letters to help me navigate the situation without damaging a long-standing friendship.”
Where SWL Comes In
In this case, K was so close to the other person and the stakes were so emotional that she needed a third party to help her assess and plan her approach with nuance and strategy. Enter Strongly Worded Letters. She gave us a brief rundown of what had happened, forwarded her email correspondence with the photographer, and we came up with a proposal that had two options at two different price points.
The first option was a single letter that laid out her expectations, desired timeline to receive her photos, and the ramifications if her demands weren’t met. She opted for the second option which was a flat fee to help her see the issue through until its conclusion. This option allowed for more nuance in our approach since part of the challenge was maintaining a good relationship while also getting K’s needs met. A single letter might have hit too hard so we laid out a plan with varied options depending on how he responded.
The Letters
The first email was an emotional appeal that went something like this: K really values the friendship, she is not really sure what to do since previous efforts to get the photos have been unsuccessful, and she is wondering if there is some kind of roadblock they haven’t discussed that’s preventing him from completing the project. By starting in a space that truly expressed her exasperation, we were able to demonstrate to her friend that she was reaching out in a way that honored their friendship and shared her emotional experience, rather than cutting straight to the point of demands. He promised to get them to her by a set date which came and went without photos.
At this point we asked her how far she was willing to take this matter since her only real option for forcing the photos was to take him to court. She decided that was something she was willing to consider so we drafted two emails. Both took a more direct tone while still maintaining friendly dialogue. The main difference between them was the level to which she was escalating the issue: one directly threatened legal action while the other hinted at it while emphasizing that was not a course of action she hoped to take.
Getting Results
In the end, K opted to send the second email which eloquently struck a balance between friendship and taking care of business. And after nearly a year of waiting for her wedding photos, less than a week after sending the first email written by Strongly Worded Letters, she got them.
In the end K said, “I was very relieved. Not having the photos and having to harass a friend about it was a huge stressor. It was really great to be able to hand that stress off to someone else who helped me achieve both of my goals: getting my photos while saving my friendship. Plus, my photos were beautiful, as I expected them to be, so it was an extra satisfying conclusion.”
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